The Faculty

I remember seeing this movie in the theatre when it first came out. I suppose I’m an odd guy and I’ll give anything sci-fi/horror at least one chance. When I was growing up, those types of movies were off-limits to my sisters and I so when I joined the Navy and “got out on my own”, I just ate the genre up. One of my roommates in the Navy introduced me to The Evil Dead horror series and I was hooked (by the way, one of the BEST horror franchises out there! Bruce Campbell is da man!)

Anyway…..

The Faculty is an unabashed look at an alien invasion. A small town in Ohio (they’re ALL small towns in Ohio! I’m from Nebraska and it’s assumed the same thing about us Huskers, that we’re ALL from small towns) is the scene for some severely dehydrated aliens who decide that Ohio is where they’d like to begin their takeover of our planet (as one character says, “If you were going to take over the world, would you blow up the White House ‘Independence Day’ style, or sneak in through the back door?”).

Beginning with “the faculty” (Hey! that’s the title!) of the school, all teachers and staff-members are assimilated via a very disgusting ear implanted THING. They, in turn, get REEEEAAAAAAALLLLLLYYYYYY thirsty and drink only water for the rest of the film. Several students notice that something odd is going on and they decide to fight off this impending automaton factory. These students include a couple kids who have gone on and become huge stars (Josh Hartnett and Elijah Wood), and a few who seem to have somewhat ‘languished’ in the movie industry (Jordana Brewster, Laura Harris, and Shawn Hatosy).

In the end, Frodo kicks some ass and saves the day. The invasion attempt is thwarted, and things get back to “normal” in the Ohio town.

Directed with gusto by Robert Rodriguez, this movie kicked some ass. Yeah, some of the dialogue is contrived and cliche-ridden, but overall this movie is pretty kick-ass in the sci-fi genre’s recent history.

Big fat goose-egg on the zombie scale, but definitely a fun one to watch.

And, oh yeah. Jon Stewart before his sweeeeeeeeeet spanking of the CNN Crossfire hosts is absolutely classic. (“You know what’s interesting, though? You’re as big a dick on your show as you are on any show.”)

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