The Questions

I haven’t posted anything lately with alot of what I’d like to call “substance”…I mean the posts that make ya think, the ones that make ME think as I’m writing them….I stole this set of questions from Rowan’s post and got inspired to write a bit….So hold on tight and hopefully you’ve got a few minutes….

Question 1: For a person you loved deeply, would you be willing to move to a distant country knowing there would be little chance of seeing your friends or family again?

Yes. I’ve already basically done that. I left for the Navy in 1995 and have visited Nebraska once or twice a year since but there was a 2 year period where I saved up my Navy leave and didn’t take ANY days off….I left the Navy in 2001 and immediately moved to Jacksonville, Florida where I currently reside with The “Wif” and The Boy…None of that was necessarily prompted by loving someone deeply, but it seemed relevant ’cause although I’m not in a distant country, I’m nowhere near home….

Question 2: Do you believe in ghosts or evil spirits? Would you be willing to spend a night alone in a remote house that is supposedly haunted?

When I was 14 and living with my Dad in a small-town we lived in a house that I’m still convinced was haunted. Possibly I had an overactive imagination but I remember several absolutely terrifying experiences there….One of the scariest ones I had there was an evening I was by myself and playing with our dog at the time, the dog started darting all around the room and barking at the air….Not just random barks but the kind of barks that are “directed” at someone/something….It creeped me out and I ended up going to bed shortly after….A little bit later in the evening, I woke to a woman’s scream in the main room of the house and jumped from bed and raced in to find an empty room….The dog went crazy again and started barking at “something”….I’m still convinced something was going on there….I’d read somewhere that babies and animals can “sense” otherwordly things around us….I dunno….just remember being scared shitless….

Question 3: If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?

Several parts to this one….

The “Wif” and The Boy? Yeah. Wish I could tell them that I love them once more. The “Wif” and I don’t really say it to each other much anymore. Not sure why, guess it’s just “understood”, I dunno…it’s not an excuse…

And The Boy? Well, he’s overall a great kid and I love him to death but there have been several times that he’s cried out of sheer selfishness and the desire to be held at the most inconvenient times….During those times, I’ve lost my temper (YOU try dealing with a screaming baby who won’t be quiet for anything!) and gotten so agitated that the heat radiates from my body and, according to The “Wif”, have made things worse. See, he can sense when we’re mad or fighting or whatever. I realize this and I hate it when he makes me so mad that I get that way. Last night I ate my dinner on the front porch ’cause his crying was just getting to be too much. I’ve been working 10 hour days all week long, starting at 3:30am when I get up, so I’m exhausted…The “Wif” is exhausted as well, because aforementioned baby has progressively gotten worse about middle-of-the-night feedings…Before his surgery he started sleeping 12-13 hour periods without waking…It was great….We got good nights of sleep….Lately though, he’s gone from waking up once around 2 or 3am to every couple of hours (9 or 10pm, midnight, 1 or 2am again, and then again at 4 or 5am’ish)…..Gotta talk to the pediatrician about “weaning” him off the middle-of-the-night feedings….It’s killing us and just makes me mad that he was getting better and now we’ve back pedaled…

Holy shit, I rambled on that one….Basically I just want my son to know that I’m not mad at “him” necessarily, only the situation….I love him with all my heart, he’s the most beautiful thing I’ve EVER produced in my life (my damn eyes are starting to get wet) and I look forward to every minute with him….My Wife is one of the best looking women that I’ve known and on top of being hot, she’s completely cool most of the time as well…She’s a movie buff (SWEEEEETTTT), she likes good music (most of the time!), and she’s great with the intimate stuff….I love ’em, that’s the bottom line, and I want them to know that….

Another part of the answer…

Although I’ve forged some deep friendships during my Navy time, I’ve seen too many buddies come and go….This, coupled with the fact that I’m horrid about staying in touch, makes me miss all these guys. I’d love to look them all up, buy them a drink, and hear how life has treated them since we all left the Navy…If any of you guys are reading this, drop me a line! dmiller23462 AT gmail DOT com. Got that T? Rick? George? Phillip? Jonesy? BK? The countless other guys who I’ve not spoken with since 2000/2001….

And my family….Can’t forget them…..My Mom, Dad and Sister….Love them all but, like the Navy guys don’t keep in touch like I should….I try to call them all at least once every weekend (the cell phone plan has “free” long distance from 9pm – 6am weeknights and then all weekend long…

Mom was here last week, Dad is here this week, and Sis? Well she hasn’t been down since July when she visited with Mom….That whole time they were here, there was tension because my Sis has a touchy stomach and my patience level doesn’t deal well with too much bitching and whining….In my mind she was bitching and whining but in hindsight, she DOES have a touchy stomach and we can all use a bit more tolerance….Love her to death, wish she’d come visit again and see her nephew after his surgery….Mom’s visit went really well….She seemed to really have a good time with us and we had a good time with her as well….She got along with The “Wif” very well this time (they never really DIDN’T get along but there’s been a couple “things” going on where things were not quite so comfortable) and she got to spend some quality time with her grandson….I’d tell her how much her love means to me and although I get so annoyed with the baby stories (“You were 6 months old and you shit all over the floor! It was so cute!”), I secretly love them all and I’m amazed that she remembers all that goofiness and entertainment that I provided as a youngster….Dad is here this week with his GF, like I mentioned and we’ll see how this week goes….I’ve gotta work one day this weekend which kinda stinks but that’s alright…I’m heading into O/T and it’s only Thursday….I will tell him that I love him ’cause he’ll be here for several days….

Question 4: If you could spend one year in perfect happiness but afterward would remember nothing of the experience would you do so? If not, why not?

Every experience I’ve had is what has made me the person I am….I can be contemplative one minute and a complete dick the next (ask my wife! ha ha) but all of those feelings and reactions are because of my experiences….I think I would rather be miserable my whole life and feel all the pain and suffering involved in life then to be happy and never have known….I want to know everything about my life and I want to remember it all so I can pass on the stories to my son and my future grandchildren….Memories sustain me in my down times….Thinking of how things have been worse and how things have been at their peak keeps me moving forward thru this shitty world….Realizing that I don’t have things NOWHERE NEAR AS BAD AS OTHERS and being able to remember the times that I thought that I DID have it bad? Yeah, wouldn’t trade those memories for the world. Nope, don’t want the happiness that I can’t remember. I wanna remember it all.

Originally posted Thu, 02-17-05

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