The Punisher – 2004

ORIGINALLY POSTED ON on April 16, 2005. Just a “sample” of some of my older writing, more to come later.

I’m a guy who likes ‘guy movies’. As a general rule, vengeance as a storyline seems to involve heavy violence and bloodshed. Heavy violence and bloodshed is usually marketed towards guys. I’m one of those guys.
Well, let me rephrase that. I’m an ‘every-kind-of-movie’ dude. I can even sit through a romantic comedy if there’s something in it that I might like. Jessica Alba could do romantic comedies for the rest of her life and I’d probably watch every single one of them. But that’s ’cause I’m madly in love with Jessica Alba. Shit, I’d watch her pick her toes for 2 hours if they filmed it. Well, uh, maybe not. Maybe not for a whole two hours anyway. Can we strike THAT one from the record? I love a good horror movie and I’m fairly easy to please. Seriously. Don’t go TOO over the top, unless that’s intentional. If it IS intentional, then it might be construed as funny. Evil Dead franchise is a GREAT example of a terrific horror series that KNOWS IT’S GOOFINESS and capitalizes on it!

Action movies rule. Action movies with a man on a quest for revenge rule even more. Yes, the critics bashed this one (28% favorable reviews at RottenTomatoes) but I didn’t care. I rented this several months back (right at new release time) and watched it that same day with a huge smile on my face. Well, I wasn’t really writing any reviews back then so it slipped thru the cracks.

The other day The “Wif” and I watched Face Off. During the prison scenes I noticed something that I hadn’t seen before. Tom Jane was a fellow prisoner. I studied him closely and sho-nuff it was Tom Jane. I said ‘Hey! It’s The Punisher!’ to which The Wif replied ‘Oh, ok. Well I never got to SEE The Punisher. I wouldn’t know.

Oops. I made the mistake of assuming that she wouldn’t give the movie the time of day. Boy was I wrong. She loves to see shirtless guys running around, especially if they look good with the shirt off. (I usually keep my shirt ON for that reason. Well at least for now. In the Blog-City community, Knight and I are working on getting our ‘buffness shown’, but for me it’ll still be a bit til I run around half naked to woot-woots and cat-calls). She also happens to be a hip-enough-gal to enjoy some revenge stuff. She’s not ALL about the sugar and spice, she’s into a lot of the same movies as me. A great reason to hang out with someone, I know. Real deep, ha ha. We both like some horror movies, some action movies, and in this case I got to see some asskicking while she drooled over Thomas Jane’s ’12-pack’ as she called it. Little bit more than a 6-pack. Get it? Very witty.
Anyway on to the actual movie stuff!

The movie begins with an arms deal being broken up and some folks getting shot. One of those folks is the son of John Travolta’s character, Howard Saint. Well, after losing his son, he’s not too thrilled about the idea of having a pissed off wife and one less child so he sends his main lackey out (Will Patton) to find as much information as possible about who took part in the deal-gone-wrong.
Well Quentin (Patton) discovers that there was a faked death and the person is not dead happens to be FBI Special Agent Frank Castle (Tom Jane). Tom Jane happens to be enjoying a family reunion in Puerto Rico. With Livia Saint (VERY nice eye-candy, played by Laura Elena Harring LINK is NSFW, by the way) completely distraught over the death of her son she tells Quentin to take out Castle’s ENTIRE FAMILY.
So they do. Everyone. The ‘Wif’ kept biting her nails and kept asking me ‘do they really kill his whole family?’ to which I gleefully replied every time; ‘EVERYONE, honey. EVERYONE’.
This is where the movie truly begins. Frank Castle is killed (or so they believe). Frank Castle is ‘resurrected’ and begins his rampage against those who killed him and his family. Commence with the cheesy one-liners and the witty comebacks. Great stuff, and (sorry Janine!) seeing John Travolta’s death scene was SPECTACULAR. Damn I hate that guy.
I love the movie, if for nothing else, the brainless blood-and-guts of it. I love a good action movie and now I see that so does The Wif. We both went to bed happy after the show was over.


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