Under Siege 2 : Dark Territory

During my first morning in the hospital, I was condemned to the television in the room. I had no books and nothing else to do. So after doing some channel surfing, I came across Under Siege 2. It was only about 5-10 minutes into the movie so I figured what the hey and watched it again.

I saw this one years ago on VHS. I honestly don’t remember what I thought of it back then but watching it the other morning makes me realize how ludicrous Steven Seagal really was/is. It was amazing to me that the man NEVER broke a sweat, his hair NEVER moved (must be some STRONG pomade he was using for that greased-back look), and his enemies never seemed to get in a good shot.

I love a good action movie and I’ll give even the most ridiculous of plots a chance, but this one was just a bit too much. Obviously, this was a money maker (well of course all movie are “money makers” but this one was just shameless in it’s rip-offability to me).

Anyway, a group of terrorists led by Eric Bogosian (yeah, only seen that dude in a couple of movies), a disgruntled ex-employee of the government, takes over the train. They want to hijack some satellite technology and use it for their own money-making. As a display of their ability, they shoot a plane from the sky on request, and blow up a chinese warehouse-type installation.

Bad acting, cheesy lines, completely ludicrous odds (Steven Seagal, like I said, never breaks a sweat the entire time and his black suit stays BLACK the entire time) make this a guy movie that doesn’t even qualify as a guilty pleasure.

The only plus was seeing Katherine Heigl as Seagal’s yum-did-lee-umptious niece in peril. Overall, a complete waste of time.

No really, it was.

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