Where’d my hair go?

Luke 21:18 – “But not a hair of your head will perish!”

Maybe I have misread that verse. If you were to take a look at pictures of me from years ago and some more recent ones you’d see that some of my hair has, for lack of a better word, “absconded”. It may have not perished but it has definitely run off with several other freedom-minded follicles.

How I’d LIKE to look as a completely bald man.

How I probably WILL look as a completely bald man.

I’m not entirely sure when it started thinning out. If you were to see me without my signature ball-cap on (pre-fitted 100% cotton and none of that goofy stretchy stuff or “hat latches”), you’d see that there’s more of my head visible now than there used to be.

How to approach this increase in forehead billboard space? Well, there’s several ways actually, reaching from one end of the hairy spectrum to the other.

– The Willis –
This is, by far, my personal favorite. Taking baldness head on (pardon the pun) and just removing the little bit of hair you’ve got left is the bold move. It says “Who needs hair anyway? I’m so good-looking that I’ll make it easier for you to look at what actually matters; my eyes!”


-The Trump-

Reeking of desperation. Sour, sour desperation. The man should be ashamed with all the money he has this is the best he can come up with.


-The Statham –
A great middle ground between Willis and Trump. It’s the follicular equivalent of saying “Thought you knew how much hair I had didn’t ya? I’ll keep it short enough that you’ll never know exactly how much I’m missing BUT I can still rub my fingers over the stubble and rest assured that there IS still some hair up there.”

For me, I still haven’t figured it out. I was doing the Statham for a good while there until my wife asked me to try growing it out again. She’s never been completely comfortable with me in the “skinhead” style. I’d assume that I’ll Stathamize my head again one of these days. Until then, I’ll comb what I can…

Are YOU bald? If so, what are you doing with your own follicle challenged head?


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