Vanilla Sky

It is Sunday night and the Hurricane named Jeanne is upon us. I am holding down the fort while my wife and son are at a hotel with relatives. Guess it’s just the guy in me that won’t leave. Anyway, I’m sitting here and I can’t take “Soul Plane” back for another rental so I had to dig into the archives. Well, digging into my DVD archives, I came up for air holding Vanilla Sky.

Alot of people really did NOT like Vanilla Sky. I am not one of those people. I absolutely LOVED Vanilla Sky. There I said it. For the remainder of this post, I’m going to attempt to wax articulate about Vanilla Sky. If you haven’t seen the movie and have no idea what it’s about, then I suggest you leave now because spoilers will abound in this review….

OK, WARNING OVER.
Continue reading Vanilla Sky

Twisted

I just watched Twisted with Ashley Judd, Samuel Jackson, and Andy Garcia….
Rotten Tomatoes didn’t like it much. It’s pretty bad when out of 124 reviews, 122 are bad….Some of the bad ones included statements like
“The direction is so ham-fisted you almost expect Porky the Pig to have a cameo.”

“You’ve seen better mysteries on Murder She Wrote, you’ll hear better dialogue in an Ed Wood flick, and you’ll experience better sex scenes on a hot day at your local zoo.”

“The only positive thing I can say about it, is that it will hopefully not be seen by too many people and that thus it will not hurt the career of those involved too much.”

“The downright wackiest, most laughable thriller to come down the pike so far this millennium.”
Oooooooohhhh, that’s gotttaaa huuurrrtttt….

Hmmmm….Where to start, where to start…The dialogue….AWFUL….The story….definitely a decent premise but not delivered well AT ALL….Some really good actors that just got lazy maybe? Or maybe the director Phillip Kaufman just didn’t elicit the right acting responses…

Ashley, Ashley, Ashley….Why are you dressed up like a lesbian who’s not REALLY a lesbian but is really into violent sex with guys who end up dead? By far, the WORST I’ve ever seen Ashley look…And to think that I once loved her….And what’s up with Russell Wong? That guy had the WORST lines I’ve heard in quite some time…

I would easily say that this movie was something that belonged on the Lifetime channel or even a Hallmark after school special….Completely terrible in every aspect….It got so bad that my wife and I were creating OUR OWN dialogue and laughing at spots that I think were meant to be dead serious….

Sheesh, don’t rent it….Don’t buy it….If you absolutely MUST see this movie, find another way…Borrow your poor sap of a friend’s copy….His goofy ass bought it, don’t make the same mistake….Just borrow his copy….
posted Fri, 09-24-04

I’m Now A Daddy

So I’m sitting here watching Alias because I rented the first two discs from Blockbuster…..I’m holding my son (25 days old) in my arms because he wouldn’t quit crying and I realize just a couple reasons that I should be happy….

I can hear him breathing while he sleeps

I can see the peaceful look on his face while he sleeps

I realize that he is MY flesh and blood and nothing can change that

I also realize that my goofy-ass has created something beautiful (way more beautiful than the beer pyramids while in the Navy)

I realize that all is ok with the world, because for those few minutes I was staring at him, he was all the world I ever needed and I love him for being here with me…

</sappiness>

posted Sat, 09-18-04

Birth of The Boy

So here we are….

Just got back from the hospital and my son was born….I’d tell you his name and all (cause I am very proud and happy) but unfortunately, there’s some wackos out there…..I can tell you though, that he was 7 pounds and 12 ounces….He was 20 1/2 inches long too….

Dudes, labor is no joke…….I got light-headed and nauseous about 15-20 minutes into the labor….Had to sit down for about 5-6 minutes and they gave me Pepsi and OJ……oops….he he he he….They told me to stay sitting down but to hell with that….I got right back up and helped finish it all off….Lasted a grand total of about 50 minutes, the hardcore part did…

They broke her (wifey) water at around 7:30am and then he was actually born at a quarter to 7 that night….

He has a bilateral cleft lip AND palate ……He’s a beautiful baby though…His first lip surgery can be at around 3 months….The actual palate being closed will probably not begin the repair process until 11 months, at least….

So there you have it….Lots of info without giving up too much info….He’s great and he’s a future biker (like his daddy), a future blogger (like his daddy once again!) and a future President (come on now I’m still working on it!!!)….
posted Mon, 08-30-04

Suicide

So how was YOUR weekend?

I spent Sunday morning in the Medical Examiner’s office, observing 4 autopsies…..The wife’s best friend’s hubby is a homicide detective and asked over dinner on Saturday night if I’d like to tag along for an autopsy he needed to attend the next morning….How many times in your life will you get asked that? I said yes, of course and that was it….

He picked me up the next morning with a dozen Krispy Kreme (yum) donuts. Since I am on Weight Watchers, of course, I had no donuts…I was proud of myself….Anyway, whatever…..

The main person we were there to observe was a 20 year old kid who had put a 44 magnum to the right side of his head and pulled the trigger….He had almost an entire case of beer in him before he did it….That couldn’t have helped his depression much….

I’ve never seen the inside of the human head, especially after it’s been cleaned out by a powerful gun such as the 44 Magnum….Very interesting….I realize that in order to do that job as a living (the autopsy doctor) you’ve gotta be just a little “off”….The attending doctor was a little off, that’s why I mention it….

The other 3 autopsies taking place were an 89 year old woman who had died at the nursing home after being strapped to a chair and unable to breathe, an overweight gentleman who appeared to have a heart attack after a car accident (I didn’t really ask, I just picked it up in conversation), and the one autopsy that I made a point to NOT watch very much of, was the 28 day old newborn who had suffocated in between her mother’s breasts during the course of the night…..The detective for THAT case called it “Death by Tits”….There is actually a slang term for it, it happens too frequently….

Bummer…..I’ll write more later…..
posted Tue, 08-03-04

Shaun Of The Dead


Originally posted on Blog-City in 2004
 

Dictionary.com defines the word “immaculate” as “Free from fault or error”. It also defines “superb” as “Of unusually high quality”. And to toss ANOTHER one in there, the word “superlative” as “Of the highest order, quality, or degree; surpassing or superior to all others”. All of these words come to mind when I speak of Shaun of the Dead…

I am a movie fan…..I am a zombie fan….When these two items are morphed together, I am a Happy Man…..Edgar Wright and Simon Pegg have absolutely outdone themselves with this film….Coming into this movie as a fan of Spaced, I was completely expecting a fine bit of film-making…..Film-making that would include self-deprecation, tongue-in-cheek humor, and a healthy amount of blood….I was not disappointed…..In fact, this movie was even better than I could have EVER hoped for…..High Fidelity and American Beauty have been neck-and-neck for first place on my list of favorite movies of all-time (at least of MY time)….Shaun Of The Dead has knocked American Beauty out of the running and comes in first place, with a vengeance….

This movie has made me as giddy as a schoolboy and I haven’t been THAT excited about a movie since I actually WAS a schoolboy….I’m 27 now…..So quick list of what you need to do…..

* Bathe yourself
* Ensure that vehicle has enough gas to get you to theatre that is showing Shaun of the Dead
* Drive vehicle to aforementioned theatre
* Purchase ticket at box-office for you and a date (if you have a date who is willing to sit through this zombiephile’s fantasty with you)
* Put ass in seat
* Watch film
* Leave theatre, and be sure to tell ALL your friends (feel free to spread to the word to complete strangers as well) that they MUST see this movie. They MUST support Edgar and Simon!!!
* Be happy that you’ve partaken in a fine cinema experience

P.S. Watch for homages to Evil Dead, Day of the Dead, Some John Woo filmmaking, and even a quick little reference to another zombie movie of late, 28 Days Later. YOU WILL NOT BE DISAPPOINTED….Let me repeat…..YOU WILL NOT BE DISAPPOINTED….
This movie gets 5 out of 5 stars but only because there’s no way to put 7 out of 5……GO SEE IT…