Dear Robin…

Robin WilliamsDearest Robin,

Although I doubt you and I would have ever met face to face in this lifetime, I always held out a small glimmer of hope that we might. I watched you for years and laughed so hard sometimes that the exhaustion would carry from my jawbone all the way down to my sides. I know that I would have been a blubbering idiot if given the chance to share a moment with you. Sadly, although the odds were stacked against us ever being in the same immediate area, you guaranteed by ending your life that it would never come to pass.

People are in shock, Robin. They don’t understand how someone so funny and constantly upbeat could have been in so much pain inside. They don’t get it.

I do though. I get it. Although it may sound presumptuous of me to say that, I’m fairly confident that I get at least some of it.
Continue reading Dear Robin…

God Knows, But When Will I?

frustratedOne good thing about the written word is the option available for readers to stop reading at any point they choose to. That being said, feel free to redirect your browser to  The Nicest Place On The Internet any time you get tired of my written grumblings. I’ve got something on my chest and, as my own personal experience has shown me time and time again, putting “pen to paper” may help me to feel just a tiny bit better.

Continue reading God Knows, But When Will I?

The Beast – Part 2

male_depressionThis is Part 2 of my thoughts on depression. To see the introductory post, check out The Beast – Part 1.

If you’ve come here and you think nobody is listening, click here to skip to the end.

During my Navy time, I spent four years on a missile cruiser. I got to know some of the best guys I ever could know and a lot of that has to do with the fact that when you suffer together and put your lives in each other’s hands, there are bonds made. Being out to sea for months on end with other men, you talk about things. When you’re NOT talking about things with others, there’s plenty of  time alone as well. It’s amazing to see God’s creations out there (dolphins jumping, the sunset on the ocean, the sun RISE on the ocean), but as a single man away from friends and family, it can get a bit lonely as well. Although I may have gotten inside my head only slightly in high school, I took long sojourns into my head while out to sea. The time spent floating in the middle of the ocean lends itself to plenty of self-exploration time.

Continue reading The Beast – Part 2

The Beast – Part 1

male_depressionErnest Hemingway couldn’t beat it and it eventually got the better of him. Winston Churchill referred to it as his “black dog”. Abraham Lincoln referred to himself once as “the most miserable man living”. Mark Twain said “Everyone is a moon and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody.” Teddy Roosevelt lost his mother and wife on the same day, sending him into a deep depression. Charles Schulz, the creator of Snoopy, was unhappy for the extent of his adult life.

Continue reading The Beast – Part 1